I was never good Enough for you
by natalieNhearts
Summary: Bella was never attracted to Edward..what if she loved Jasper instead...so what happens when Jasper and Bella fall in love but he cheats on her to be with Alice, Edwards girlfriend? Who will stop Bella from committing the suicide she plans?
1. Chapter 1 Meeting them

Chapter 1

I could hear the soft crunch of snow as i walked across the deserted parking lot. My dark skinny jeans and black UGGs where soaked through. I let out a long breath and watched as my breath came out as smoky mist and dissapeared into the air. I should have dressed warmer i thought to myself. I had only worn dark blue skinny jeans, black UGGs, a light blue cardigan, black wool overcoat and a black and white fashion scarf that wrapped around my neck, my hair was in damp ringlets that went down to my waist and i had put on my fluffy black earmuffs. I should have worn warmer clothes, people might wonder why im not freezing my butt of. I hadnt worn my snow gloves so my hands where only covered by thin wool gloves. Even my bookbag that was draped over my shoulder it was damp, i hoped that my notebook hadnt been damaged.

"Bella! Want a ride?" i turned to see the owner of the voice, non other than Mike Newton a boy from school who had a huge infatuation with me. For some unknown reasons to man he was obsessed with me, always asking me on dates and offering me rides to school. This time though i was grateful.

"Your a lifesaver Mike" I said as i stepped into his toasty warm car.

"No problem Bella, you know i love having you in my car." He smiled at me and turned up the heater. As we pulled up in front of the school i quickly gathered my things and got out of his car only stopping to glance back in the car before shutting the door and say thanks.

"Thanks Mike, once again your a life saver." I shut the door and walked into the small School of Forks. I had only moved here a few months ago, and today was my first day of school. Mike was the only person so far that i knew. I only knew him because i had gotten a job as his Fathers place in order to save up for a car i knew i would need. I quickly walked over to the small main office that was practically the size of my room and walked in. I walked over to the plump red haired lady that sat behind the desk. As i walked up she looked up at me and didnt stop staring. I was curious as to why she was staring and slowly let the bubble of thoughts fill my mind.

_**So this is the famous Isabella Swan, Hmm...Shes even prettier than i imagined her to be, she seems quiet wierde though, oh i shouldnt even be thinking this im a proffesional not one of those gossiping little girls**_

__Of course she would think im wierd. My hopes dropped at bieng accepted here. I thought that maybe i should try to fit in this year, and not let people notice me being different. But i was every humans nightmare, i was what made the hair on their neck stand at edge, i was the thing of horror movies. I was a vampire. I had been turned when i was 17 years old by a newborn who had lost control and attacked me and not suceeded at killing me, she drained me nearly dry but ran off when she thought she had killed me.

I had been this way eversince. I was a 37 year old stuck in a 17 year old body. And then i wasnt even a normal vampire. I was different. I could read minds, i could control all the elements of nature and even objects and people, and i could become invisable, and change my apperance. I had been on my own since i was changed, my father Charlie and my mother Renee had been murdered by a serial killer whom i killed after i was changed when i was 16. So you could tell that i was lonley, i kept my emotions inside and didnt let people see the real me.

Right now i had kept my natural apperance, the way that i really looked. I had pale white skin with a natural glow to it, bright green eyes, dark brown hair that fell in curls to my waist, and i was very dainty, girly looking and delicate to the extreme. No one ever wanted to hurt me. I hadnt made myself this way, It was how i looked when i was changed. But you could tell i was different. It was the aura that people felt around me, i was dangerous and they knew it.

"Can i have my schedual please." I said not bothering to say hello. My soft musical voice stunned her more than she already was. I was gorgous, even more beautiful than most other women vampires.

"Sure thing honey, here it is, have a nice day." She handed me a piece of paper with all of my 6 classes in it. I had enrolled as a Junior and fortunatlly was not required to take PE. I didnt want to have a chance to expose my strength and grace. I was already different enough.

"thanks you too" I left the office and walked toward m y first class. It was English with Mr. Hill. i walked in and took an empty seat in the far corner at the back. As the bell rang and everyone filed into the classroom at the latest possible moment i caught a glimpse of them. There where five of them all pale white with eyes the color of honey. And they where just like me. there where three boys and Two girls. The largest boy was huge muscled like a weightlifter with curly black hair, adorable in his own way, he sitting next to a girl that was almost as gorgous as me, she had long wavy blonde hair to the middle of her waist. The next boy was tall and deathly pale as well with messy bronze colored hair, he was holding the hand of a tiny to the extreme girl with spiky black hair and a pixy like aura. It was the last boy who took my breath away, he had long curly blonde hair to about his ears, he was tall and lean, not too muscluar but not too lanky, he was pale and was the only one without a girl at his side.

(JASPER POV)

As me and my brotheres and sisters walked into our first period English with Mr. Hill i could smell something, or some one different. It was a sweet smell, the smell of a vampire with a twist to it, i could smell roses and fresias along with the sickly sweet smell that meant there was a vampire around. I looked at my siblings and saw that they had noticed as well. We looked at eachother wearily not wanting today to go bad. Today was a normal day we had gotten dressed and come to school. Emmett and Rosalie had come first, then Me Edward and Alice had come. It was a lonley life living with my coupled siblings, i wished i had a soulmate as well.

I had worn black skinny jeans, black Nikes a white hoodie with black Jacket over it and a black beanie. As i walked into the classroom along with all five of my siblings the scent hit me in waves. It was a vampire, now who could it be, all five of them looked around the room and then they saw her. There was a girl that was staring at us. She had impossible pale skin, dark brown curls that went all the way down to her waist, she had bright green eyes and looked very delicate and small almost like Alice but not as much, she was slender but had all the right curves and she was looking straight at us. She was the Prettiest girl iv seen in all of my long life. I could feel her emotions radiating off of her. Confusion, lonlieness, surprise, and jelusy. She was glaring at us.


	2. Chapter 2 Falling in love

Chapter 2

(BELLA POV)

I looked at the five beautiful people that surrounded me, i hating feeling like this. I felt trapped, they wanted to talk i knew they did i diddnt even need my powers to know that. The one that sat by me with curly blonde hair looked at me preparing to speak. I cut him off.

"Leave me alone and i'll leave you alone" i Said in a harsh voice. I didnt need any one. I was perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I knew they wanted to know if i had a coven. I didnt, and i knew that if they got to know me and i was nice they would try to get me to join their coven, i didnt want that. The boy looked at me strangly and i could see the hurt evident on all of their faces. They thought i was bitter. The girl with the Blonde hair, obviously somehow related to the boy sitting by me was sending me fierce glares. I let the bubble of thought slowly fill my mind.

**I **_**cant believe the nerve she has...All we do is want to get to know her. And why is Jasper looking at her like that, he cant possibly be smitten with that girl. I mean come on, when i first met him he didnt like me so he cant like her right? I mean she's Obviously uglier in every way.**_

Well that girl was in for a rude awakening. I mentally flexed my powers feeling the strength fill my hands and mind. I gathered the mist in the air to form a cloud over the girl and let the water drop. She was instantly soaked. Her blonde hair turned frizzy and her make up smeared making her look like a wet cat.

"You little...UGHH!" She screamed at me. Emmett took her hand and forced her to sit back down, obviously trying not to cause a scene. I looked at her and laughed, and i mean really laugh, hold your stomach in pain kind of laughinng. The boy with the blonde hair looked at me and smiled. He then started laughing as well.

"JASPER! if you dont want to die you better stop laughing right now!"The girl with the blonde hair whisper screeched into his ear. So his name was Jasper. It fit him nicely i should say. With warm topaz eyes contrasted with his deathly pale skin, i could see his soft curls brush his cheek as he laughed, and it made me feel warm inside. The way he looked at me made me feel wanted. And not alone. Maybe If i got to know him he would like me...i stopped that idea right on its tracks. I knew that would never happen. I was a freak. Even in the Vampire world no one liked me. I was the loaner.

(JASPER POV)

As i was laughing i could feel the self loathing consume this girls emotions, it was an abrupt change, she had first been feeling loved, and hope, and before i could blink It changed. I could see her whole being crumble. her eyes glistened with tears she could never shed, and her face lost its shine that had been there when we where laughing. The smile dissapeared at was replaced with a sad smile. She hated herself for a reason i didnt know.

How could this gorgous girl hate herself even a little bit?

"I think we should introduce ourselves, Im Edward Cullen" Edward bowed to her as we started to walk toward the door when the bell rang. He pulled out all of his boyish charm to try and dazzle the girl. I had seen it a handfull of times. They always worked. I let out a gentle growl, why would he do that? Couldnt the idiot read my mind. He had Alice, i had no one. Couldnt he just let me dazzle her for just one day.

"You do dazzle me." I heard a queit voice say. I realized it had been the girl as she walked by me into the pouring rain outside. I heard her queit sobs as she entered the forest behind the school. Her self loathing slowly turning into loneliness and depression. I knew how she felt...haha my wry humor. I knew exactly what she felt, not because i was an empath but because that was what i was going through as well.

I turned to my family usure if i should follow her. I felt a sort of pull toward her, a warm sensation when she was around. It was hard to explain.

"Whats her name?" I turned to my family

"Her names Isabella Swan, She was turned when she was 17 and has been a vampire for 20 years. Shes always been alone, Her powers are reading minds when she wants to, controlling nature, moving things including people and changing her and others apperances. Shes very powerfull and feeds off of animals. And she has a crush on Jazzy here" Alice looked at me as she said all this knowing i was the one who wanted this information. "Go after her..she needs someone right now."

"She's lonley, and deppressed, and for some unknown reason she hates herself." I slowly whispered as i headed toward the forest following her scent.

I soon found her in a small meadow. Her self loathing stronger than ever and anger starting to creep in.

(BELLA POV)

Why was i never good enough? Why did no one love me? Why was i alone? I thought to myself. No one had followed me when i came out into the forest not even Jasper. What am i thinking i just met him so why would he follow me. I had read their minds and gotten information about them, the blonde girl was named Rosalie and was with Emmett the big brawny one, the short pixie girl was named alice she could see the future and she was with Edward the one with the bronze hair, the most dazzling one was Jasper the blonde one with the curls, and he was alone too.

I got to my meadow that i had found the first day i moved here and sat down in the middle. I was mad. That no one loved me and that i had always been all alone. I grew the grass in big thickets with prickling roses growing in the midst of them, i picked up huge boulders with my mind and smashed them against the trees in fury, and to calm myself i twisted and turned water in the air...i have no idea why but this always calmed me. I dropped every thing when i heard someone approaching.

He had followed me after all. Jasper was there. He looked at me with a pained expression no doubt knowing what i was feeling, he was an empath. I moved toward him untill we where almost touching noses.

"Isabella..i know i dont really know you, but i feel drawn to you in some way that i cant explain. Will you be my girlfriend?" He stuttered nervously and looked at me awaiting my response.

"Umm..i feel the same way. Yes i will be your girlfriend" He looked at me love filling his topaz eyes. He took another step toward me and wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my head against the crook of his neck and sighed. A happy Sigh. I finally wasnt alone.


	3. Chapter 3 Tigra

Chapter 3

(BELLA POV)

It had been four months now that me and Jasper had began to date. he was my love, my only love. I had also connected with his family especially his sister Alice. She was a shopaholic just like me. I loved to shop. Me and her went on enless shopping sprees together. I didnt like it when Jasper spent alot of money on me so i decided to get a job. I was earning a good pay as a part time secratary at a big company down town.

As i arrived at the Cullen house in my new Lexus Jasper came outside with a warm smile on his face. I stepped out of the car and ran over to my love. He pulled me close to him and gave me a long kiss. I smiled at him whispereing i love you and brushing my lips against his ear. He moaned in pleasure.


	4. Chapter 4 Alice

Chapter 4

(JASPER POV)

It had been almost a year now that me and my love had been dating, Tigra had grown into a very big puppy by now and followed my Bella everywhere, it was a love sick puppy, just like me. I guess in a way i was just like Tigra, i loved Bella, i would give her the world. Bella was my life. She was perfect in every way. Her soft skin seemed warm to me since we where both the same tempature, her cheeks always had a certain glow to them, her hair went in long curls all the way to her waist, thick and golden kinda like goldy locks.

"Hello my love" I heard some one whisper. I turned and saw Bella. I gave her a big smile and pulled her onto my lap. As she sat there straddling me i felt a new wave of emotion over come her as she began to kiss me with a fierceness that surprised me. I felt waves and waves of lust overcoming both of us, not only her but i was feeling it as well as i pulled her closer to me and ran my hands up and down her arms. I carried her up to my room and sat on the bed with her still straddling me. she kissed up and down my neck teasing me. I could feel my pants get tighter at the feeling.

"Say my name" I told her. I wanted to her say it i wanted to her moan.

"Jasper" She moaned.

I pushed her off of me and pushed her onto the bed, i got ontop of her supporting my weight in my arms.

"Be-" I was about to say her name when my incolent brat of a sister casually walked in and pulled me off of her by my ear.

"Jasper Whitlock, What in the world do you think you two are doing? Dont you know that we have a important family meeting in about five seconds?" She yelled at me.

"Well, Alice dear, Some people cant see the future like you" Bella growled at Alice. Now that was a surprise. I had never heard Bella use that tone with Alice. Alice as well, looked stunned. But then burst out laughing.

"Ok, okay, i should know better than to inturupt two "busy" Vampires" She said exagerating the word busy. "But you guys seriously have to get down there now Carlisle has something important to say."

Both me and Bella both begrudedly stood up and straightend out our clothes and messy hair. "Well continue this later darlin" I whispered in her ear. A strong new wave of lust hit me in a direction that i didnt expect. I turned and looked at Alice whom had been listening and looking at me up and down with a wierd look on her face. Then i realized she was the one who was giving off this strong new wave of lust.

"Are you okay?" I tentativly. She looked at me embarrased. and said "Oh i forgot, you stupid empath" She mummbled. she looked at me with a spark of mishcieve in her eyes i felt the lust again.

(ALICE POV)

After i walked in on Jasper and Bella i had a vision while Jazz was whispering into Bellas ear. My eyes glazed over and i saw me and Jazz. In my vision we where in his room, completly naked, both of us where moaning in pleasure and making love.

The vision stopped as abrutedly as it came. I looked at Jazzy a new emotion taking control of me, i felt a longing, and lust for him. I wondered when that was gonna happen, but the vision was very clear which meant soon, very soon. And that it would happen for sure because it was so clear.

But then it hit me, like a wrecking ball to the heart, in this vision i saw Bella, she was curled in a ball in the dark wet forest, she had her arms around herself and was rocking back and forth her eyes where swollen with tears she could not shed and then her pick up the biggest boulder she could find and move it with her mind so that it crushed her.


	5. Chapter 5 not good enough

Chapter 5

(BELLA POV)

I hummed to myself as i sat on the couch of new home with the cullens as i waited for everyone to come home from hunting. The only people who stayed where Edward Alice and Jasper. Alice and Jasper where playing with Tigra upstairs and Edward was sitting on the couch oppisite of me.

"hey Bells feel like hiking?" I had never really talked to Edward that much, but the past few weeks we had become closer. My nickname was Bells and his was Eddie. As much as he hated the name he let me call him that. I wondered what he meant by hiking. Didnt he know i was clumsy by now?

"Only if you feel like carrying me on your back" I said back to him sticking my tongue out at him like a child.

"I dont mind" He said with a chuckle. He stood up and swung me onto his back and ran full speed out the door. I loved the feeling of Vampire speed. It was incredible, I hid my face in his shoulder to keep from getting a wind rash and sighed as i felt the wind carress my body and slide through my hair. I loved it. He finally slowed down after only a couple minutes of running. A couple minutes in Vampire speed though and i could be halfway to Canada.

I looked around and saw that we where in a small meadow. It was beautiful. There was a small brook that ran through the middle with bubbling clear water and shiny colorfull pebbles. On both sides there was long soft grass and all kinds off flowers. Lilliacs, Fresias, dandylions, sunflowers, orchids, and roses at the edges. The trees on the edges cast small shadows that covered most of the meadow. The meadow was very small only a few feet long. I squeled with giddy ness and ran out onto the middle. I sat near the brook and patted the spot next to me for Edward.

"This is amazing Edward, when did you find this place?" I asked him happy that we finally had some time away from his family where he was always quiet i wanted to get to know the real Edward.

"I found it when i was human. I had been traveling through Forks on a roadtrip and the car broke down so i had to walk through here and ran into this meadow. Iv come here ever since, its a nice place to think and take the everyday stress out." He said. "Iv never brought anyone else here, your the first person other than me to see this place" he told me with a shy smile.

"Awww! Thats sweet of you Eddie!" I said to him. Why was i acting like such a blonde? I guess Edward kinda made me a little nervous. I really liked him and not in a friend kind of way. But i loved Jasper. So i couldnt do anything. And Edward loved Alice. Right?

"haha..no problem, iv always wanted to share this place with someone and your one of my best friends forever so i decided this would no longer me my thinking place. It would be ours" he flashed me that crooked smile of his.

"Its getting kinda chilly Eddie, mind running me back to the house to grab a jacket?"

"Sure" He said walking toward me. My heart sped up thinking about getting to touch him. he scooped me up in his arms, i thought he was gonna put me on his back but he didnt he carried me bridal style up to the house.

I quickly ran in the house and up the stairs toward the room. I hoped Jasper was in there. I opened the door and slipped inside quickly. what i saw broke my heart. I screamed, i didnt mean to but it just came out. I felt the hot tears stream down my face. There on the bed that me and Jasper had slept on for the past two years was a very naked Jasper and Alice. Alice was straddling him moaning. they stopped when they heard the door open and looked at me. Jasper looked as if he was going to cry. Alice looked guilty as heck.

After that i just ran. I didnt know where i was going, i forgot about the sweater i just ran. I ran and ran untill i could not possibly run further. I felt two cold stone arms wrap around and looke up to see Edward. His face heartbrakingly sad. I realized he too had been cheated on and i wrapped my arms around him as hard as i could and pulled him down on the ground. I burried my face into the crook of his neck and cryed. And the whole time he held me and rocked me untill i fell asleep in his cold comforting arms. I felt numb of all emotions, except pain. Pain that Jasper didnt love me after all, Pain that our relashonship had consisted of lies, Pain that i was never good enough for him.

**HI GUYS! I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS FOR REVIEWING MY STORY! IF YOU GUYS LIKE THIS STORY YOU SHOULD READ MY OTHER ONES IM PRETTY SURE YOULL LIKE THEM!:]] SO I DECIDED ID START DEDICATING MY CHAPTERS TO PEOPLE. **

** THIS CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO: **_**FOREVERTWILIGHTLUVER **_

**SHE ACCTUALLY HELPED ME WITH THE WHOLE IDEA OF EDWARD AND BELLA AT THE MEADOW SO THANKS FOREVERTWILIGHTLUVER! PLEASE REVIEW:]] LOVE YAAAAA!**


	6. Chapter 6 suicide

Chapter 6

As i laid on my bed i couldnt help but spend a few minutes thinking about the past day. Jasper. It hurt to even think his name. I knew i had never been good enough for him and still when i saw that he had cheated on my i felt stupid and ignorant. How could i not have noticed the looks they gave eachother or something? I mean it couldnt have been a spurr of the momment thing. Alice had obviously knew about it and she didnt even try to warn me. Edward had driven me home with a promise to pick me up for school tomorrow so that i wouldnt have to face Jasper alone.

I could not feel the pain. Only numbness. My entire being was consumed with the hurt that so severly drenched me in pain. I looked out of my window and saw it was raining. It seemed only to be drizzling. I stood up and walked down the stairs and into the front yard in only my PJs, a worn tank top and holey sweats. I lay down on the drive way instantly drenched in water and looked up at the sky. The dark storm clouds looked menacing and cold. I must be a sight. Sitting out on the driveway while it was pouring rain in the middle of hte night.

"Your going to catch a cold" I heard a soft voice that i could have recognized anywhere. I looked to the side and saw the honey blonde curls.

"Please just leave me alone Jasper." I whispered pulling my knees up and hugging them resting my head in the middle away from the wind.

"Bella, love, please. Im so sorry. It was a momment of weakness. Alice came on to me and i, i dont know Bella, i dont know what do you want me to say? Ill do anything to get your forgivness." He looked at me silently pleading. I just shook my head in disbelief. I stood up brushing my self off and tucking strands of hair behind my ears. I walked up to him and looked at his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his neck for the last time savoring the feeling of being loved and then pulled apart from him.

"I will always love you Jazz" With that i kissed him quickly on the cheek and struggled to keep quiet as i walked back up the stairs dripping wet. My eyes closed and still the tears slipped on heart wrenching sobs consuming me.

How could he do that to me? He told me he love me, that he would never hurt me. I felt hurt and just wrong. I loved him so completly and now it was over. I lay down and pulled the covers up biting down on them to keep from sobbing the tears slipped on and on endlessly even in the morning i could not stop them.

I got into the shower and brushed me hair pulling on black skinny jeans, a long sleeved green sweater and a black over coat with pink rain boots, and big red puffy eyes and got into my car not bothering to tell Edward i wouldnt need a ride. I drove to the edge of a cliff. I looked over the edge.

And i jumped off.


	7. Chapter 7 SORRYYY!

_** Im soooooo sooo sorry for all the confusion guys! Im so sorry. I guess i was just really rushing to get the chapters for all three of my new stories out and am also planning out my new story so i have four different stories in my head and i got confused. SOOO SORRRYYYY! =\ i promise ill get a good chappyyy up by tonight maybe even two super sorry please forgive me! if any of you have some ideas of how to put Alec of Jane in the story i think i wanna have a little contest whoever reviews with their idea and the top three that i like the best will get a small story up with themselves in it! andddd ill also dedicate the chapter that you come up with to you! so REVIEW AND WIN THE CONTEST!333xoxo -Natlaie **_

_** p.s. still sooooooooooooooo sorryyy...**_


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